We can be "right" if the market goes up OR down!
How? Because our trades are "straddles" or "strangles" which is just a fancy way of saying buying calls and puts on the same ETF at the same time.
Example trade: You pay $2 for SPY strangle. The next day, after the Federal Reserve news, you sell your calls for $2.50 and your puts for $0.50. You just made +60% in 1-2 days!